


Daeron's Story

by silvertrails



Series: Second Age Arc [4]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-20 18:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16561316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: This story is better understood after Rainbow of Hope, but it can stand alone too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Daeron’s story  
** By CC  
May, 2018

This story is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made and no harm is intended.

 

* * *

They had traveled north along the Eastern bank of the Anduin, looking for safe passage to Erebor without meeting unwanted foes. There were less Orcs prowling the area now, but Daeron knew they would come back at some moment. He could feel it in his bones. It was difficult to explain it to Maglor, but being a minstrel born in Ennorath he was more attuned to the land than his friend.

“What is it?” Maglor asked when Daeron stopped walking.

“Someone is coming… Not evil, but not one of us…”

A cold sweat broke over Daeron’s body, but he shook his head when Maglor approached as if to help him. Whoever was coming was close…

A huge, brown bear came out of the forest and stood on its paws when Maglor pulled out his sword. Daeron moved closer to Maglor, refusing to stay back like his companion had whispered to him. The bear looked at them for a moment, and then locked eyes with Daeron.

“Daeron!”

As his knees gave way, Daeron could feel Maglor’s arms around him, but there was someone else’s face before him. “Biarne?” he whispered and then he lost consciousness.

Daeron woke up in a warm bed, feeling more rested than he had in months. Where was he? And where was Maglor? He sat up on the bed and the smell of delicious food made him feel hungry and dizzy at the same time. It smelled like that soup that Biarne used to…

Biarne!

He stood just as Maglor was coming into his room, followed by Biarne, who held a tray with soup and a mug of honey and lemon tea.

“I…”

Maglor made him sit back on the bed. “Careful. You have been sleeping for two days. We fed you with honey, but you still need to regain your strength.”

“Two days?”

“You needed the rest, Biarne said, “and we kept you warm and safe. Now it’s time for you to eat something, child.”

Only Biarne would call him child, even though she was only a century older than him. Daeron had stopped trying to remind her of that fact. After all, he had been lost like a child when she first found him.

Maglor took the tray from Biarne while she placed a small table beside Daeron’s bed. Daeron wondered how much she had told Maglor about the night she found him wandering aimlessly, lost in the forest.

He had been out of his mind, unable to remember where he came from, who he was, and Biarne had nurtured him to health without telling him about her true nature until the day he left her house. Daeron had never seen her in her bear form, though. This had been the first time.

“Eat, Daeron,” Maglor said.

Daeron blinked and Maglor’s worried face came into view. “Yes,” he said. “I’m fine. I let my mind drift.”

“He does that a lot,” Biarne said.

Maglor smiled. “Yes.”

Daeron frowned. “Forgive me for being such a nuisance.”

Biarne smoothed his hair. “You are not a nuisance, my dear child. I will leave you two now. I have things to do. Keep him in bed, Maglor.”

“I will,” Maglor said, ignoring Daeron’s glare.

“You don’t need to babysit me, you know?”

Daeron started to eat, while Maglor looked at him, a hit of amusement on his eyes. He was hungry, he could not deny it, but he didn’t appreciate being treated like a child.

Maglor looked away, and sighed softly.

“What is it?”

Maglor looked at him. “Biarne told me many things.”

“I am fine now.”

Maglor looked at him, something indescribable in his grey eyes. “I know, but I am worried for you.”

Daeron’s annoyance faded away. “I am better now, Maglor. I promise.”

Maglor nodded, and reached out to touch Daeron’s hair, fixing a loose strand behind his ear. Daeron froze, for Maglor’s touch was different from Biarne’s, and it stirred something forgotten inside him.

“Just stay safe,” Maglor said. “That’s all I ask.”

Daeron nodded slowly, missing Maglor’s touch when the other Elf withdrew his hand. He finished his soup in silence, and drank the tea, and when Maglor helped him to lie down on the bed, Daeron grabbed his hand.

“Will you stay with me for a while?”

Maglor smiled softly. “I will.”


	2. Chapter 2

The forest was silent, so silent than Daeron could not breathe. It was as if something was gone, something he could not remember, but its loss made his spirit ache. His body felt light, as if he no longer belonged to these lands, but as much as he tried to leave it behind something inside him refused to give up. 

It was this pain that kept him alive. 

Yet he would have given life up long ago only to stop it. What was it that forced him to go on even if his voice was gone? He could not sing anymore, and the forest had died with him because it had become a dreary place full of death and its ghosts. 

There was warmth somewhere, and Daeron wanted that warmth, that presence that made life bearable again, but hands caught him, and a gag was placed in his mouth, and there was pain, and the man gave him something to drink that prevented him from escaping his body. There was pain, and then he was given to others and…

“Daeron!”

Daeron whimpered, and when he felt a gentle hand on his face, he recoiled, and the hand was withdrawn at once. 

“I’m sorry…”

Daeron gasped, unable to understand why his tormentor was apologizing. Was this a new kind of torture? 

“Daeron, it’s me, Maglor.”

Maglor?

“Please, open your eyes and look at me.”

Still trembling, Daeron opened his eyes. It was dark, but for a candle, but he could see a face… Maglor’s face. He looked worried, almost scared. Why would Maglor be scared? He was fearless…

“Daeron?”

Memories of the last hours came rushing back to him, and Daeron realized at last that it had been a nightmare, and that he was safe in Biarne’s house, and that Maglor was sleeping with him. 

Why was Maglor sleeping with him?

_I asked him to stay… That’s why…_

Maglor seemed to be on the verge of leaving or call Biarne, so Daeron took his hand. “Stay, don’t leave. I’m fine. I’m sorry.”

Relief was visible on Maglor’s face. “I thought… I feared that---”

“I had lost my mind again?”

When Maglor didn’t answer, Daeron let go of his hand. “You can leave, if you wish, Maglor. I know I’m not who I was before, and I don’t know if I will ever… Just leave me alone.”

“No.”

Daeron looked at Maglor, surprised. “Why would you stay with me?”

“You are my friend, and I am worried for you.”

“I am mad.”

“No, you are not. I’ve seen madness, and this is not it. You had a nightmare, and it was disturbing enough to feel real.”

Daeron nodded, wondering if Maglor had the power to read his mind.

“It’s still night, and you… we need to rest.”

“Thank you, Maglor.”

“There is no need to thank me. Is there something I can do…? I mean… I would like you to feel safe.”

“Just stay close,” Daeron said. “That makes me feel safe.”

Maglor lay back down on the bed, careful not to touch him. Daeron wished he dared to ask Maglor to hold him, but he had no right. It was enough to ask the other Elf to help him. Daeron knew that he was broken, and he had hoped that Maglor did not realize how bad it was. 

Once he felt stronger, he would leave and atop being a burden to his friends. Biarne and Maglor worried for him, but he was beyond their help.


	3. Chapter 3

Maglor looked at Daeron slowly falling asleep, wishing he could hold him and keep him safe from the shadows in his mind. Maglor would like to have the power to erase the pain that Daeron had sustained, and see again the carefree elf he had met at the Mered Aderthad. He had seen glimpses of that elf on their way here, though the anguish always returned to his gray eyes. Meeting Biarne had brought at all back, and the tale of Daeron’s suffering had bruised Maglor’s heart.

He would kill those men if they ever found them…

Maglor paused, realizing that he was thinking of them staying together, as if his own path would be intermingled with Daeron’s from now on. He wanted Daeron to stay with him, but he was confused about the reasons. Protecting Daeron until he was better was one of them, and so was Maglor’s own solitude. He realized now that he had been rationalizing his need to keep Daeron close due to those reasons, and that he had another one that disturbed him greatly…

He was falling in love with Daeron.

He could not fall in love with Daeron.

He would only harm him.

Yet, that was the truth, and Maglor knew now that he had found a kindred spirit, one who defied him and enticed him. One who had also known pain, and come out of it with terrible scars but still trying to survive. He could not compare Daeron’s pain to his own, but they were still here, out of place in a world that was changing.

_Maybe we can find our place together, at least for a while._

Daeron stirred, and moved closer, his left hand reaching blindly in his sleep. Maglor raised his right hand and brushed Daeron’s carefully, ready to withdraw it if the touch disturbed him. It did not, and Daeron grabbed Maglor’s hand and called for him.

“I am here, Daeron,” Maglor whispered, and Daeron appeared to relax. 

It worried Maglor that Daeron was sleeping with his eyes closed, unnatural for an elf, a sign of sickness and pain, but at least he was calmer. Eventually, Maglor drifted off, sleep claiming him like a protective blanket. He felt safe in Biarne’s house, and it was a welcome change, but Maglor knew that it would not last long. They would have to leave when Daeron was strong enough to travel with him again.

When Maglor woke up again it was another day, and Daeron was sitting on the bed, arms loosely hugging his knees, apparently lost in thought. He looked beautiful, his dark hair shining with the light that came through the curtains. Maglor moved and Daeron looked at him.

“Maglor, you are awake…”

“Just now.” Maglor sat on the bed. “Have you been up for long?”

“Not long.”

“Did you sleep well?”

Do you remember what happened last night? Maglor wanted to ask, but he knew better. Daeron was still fragile, and Maglor didn’t understand his own emotions yet.

Daeron smiled, eyes sad. “I did, thank you for staying with me. It’s embarrassing to fear the night, but I will feel better soon. This was nothing but a relapse.”

Relapse. Maglor hated that word already, or rather he hated the fact that he could do nothing to help Daeron so he didn’t fall back into the shadows of his past.

“There is no need to be embarrassed, Daeron. You have yet to see me in one of my dark days. I mean, if you are willing to travel with me once we leave Biarne’s house.” 

Daeron stilled.

“Only if that’s what you want,” Maglor said. 

Daeron closed his eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

And suddenly Daeron was in his arms, and Maglor held him while he cried, wishing once again that he could do more.

_I cannot fall in love with him._

_But I have._


	4. Chapter 4

The days were calm in Biarne’s house and its surroundings. They were no visitors during the day. While Biarne occupied herself on a series of chores, both inside and outside the house, Maglor and Daeron helped her by picking berries, and feeding the small animals she kept. Biarne also had a beehive where she worked alone. She shared the honey with them, but most of it was for her nightly meetings with others of her kind. When they came, Maglor and Daeron stayed inside the house speaking or singing softly. 

Life was good, and Daeron seemed to be much better.

Maglor was sitting under a tree, Daeron’s head in his lap. They had been speaking about the weather, the trees, the birds singing, the bees… Simple things, almost like a couple that rests outside their house while enjoying the gift of nature. Daeron had fallen asleep.

It was the closest thing Maglor ever had to a proper domestic life, but none of them had spoken of love, or attraction.

They still shared a bed, though there was nothing but cuddling and chaste kisses. Maglor could feel his feelings for Daeron slowly growing into a love he had never experienced before and it almost scared him. Maglor had loved his wife, Isilmë, and he had loved Omar, one of Ulmo’s Maiar, but this he felt for Daeron was different.

He was still married, though he and Isilmë had lived together for no more than twenty days or so. Her feelings for him changed, probably died when she saw Omar kissing Maglor. It had been an impulse, and Maglor had not resisted it. Only then he had realized that he felt attracted to males too, but he had never meant to hurt Isilmë. 

Now he loved Daeron, and his punishment was that he could never tell him about this. Maglor’s fate was still linked to the Oath, and if he ever returned to Valinor, he would be judged for his crimes. He could not bring Daeron into this. It would not be fair to him.

“Is something wrong, Maglor?”

It was Biarne, her brown hair wild and her cheeks flushed after her morning run through the woods. 

“Biarne, I did not see you coming.”

She sat beside him, and looked at the sleeping Daeron briefly before turning her golden eyes on Maglor.

“That is why I asked. It is not like you to be so distracted.”

“Maglor always worries about things,” Daeron mumbled in his sleep. Maglor smoothed his hair before he realized what he was doing. Daeron smiled and made him more comfortable in his lap. 

“I think you need to take him inside,” Biarne said.

Maglor nodded, and pulled Daeron to his feet and picked him up. Daeron mumbled a protest, but the truth was that he slept a lot. Once he was tucked in bed, Maglor followed Biarne out of the bedroom. They sat at the table, and Biarne offered Maglor a glass of cider.

“Now tell me what is wrong, son of Fëanor,” she said. 

Maglor stiffened. “You knew who I was when you opened your house to me.”

Biarne nodded. “I meant no offense. Whatever your father or your brothers did, whatever you did, it was part of the great scheme of things. There is light and shadow in all of us, Maglor.”

Maglor relaxed. “You know who I am, and that my fate is bound to the Oath I took in Valinor.”

“An Oath that is void.”

“Or maybe this life is the everlasting darkness. I cannot bring Daeron into my life, yet I would stay with him until he can go on by himself.”

“Daeron loves you.”

“We are friends, nothing more.”

“But he loves you and you love him too. I can see these things.”

“Why are you speaking to me about this, Biarne?”

“Because you are in pain, and though I cannot change your mind about Daeron and his place in your life, I believe that you should be careful with him. Daeron has lost too much, even part of himself, and he is in a highly fragile state.”

Maglor nodded, and took his time to think of her words. “You are right about me, Biarne, and I hope you are wrong about him, but I will keep him safe when the time to leave your house comes. I promise.”


	5. Chapter 5

Daeron sat alone under a tree, enjoying the sun as he had never before. When the world was new and the sun went up, he was very much in love with Lúthien, and she was his sun. He liked the green that grew freely, and the birds that sang welcoming Anor, but mostly he liked the beauty of her eyes, and the grace of her body dancing under Anor’s light.

That was past now. Lúthien had fallen in love, married Beren, and wed him after Lord Námo agreed to release him from the Halls. Now they were both dead, no longer part of the circles of Arda, with Eru, somewhere. The fate of the Secondborn was strange and unknown to Elves, even to the Powers themselves.

The pain for the love he could never have had faded, and now Daeron felt free to start again, yet he was chained by what happened next. His mind was… He had lost balance, and Maglor was with him only because of pity, and a friendship that never had time to grow after they met for the first time at the Mered Aderthad.

Yet Daeron was falling in love with Maglor. He knew the signs, for he had been in love before. No, he mused. This was different, a feeling that might sweep him away if he let himself be taken by it. He could not, because if Maglor rejected him, Daeron might lose himself forever.

He didn’t want to wake up one day and see Maglor there, weariness and pity in his eyes. He could love Maglor from afar, be his friend, but the one thing Daeron could not endure again was the loss of the one he loved. 

_I’m not strong enough to fight my own mind, the darkness inside me. Maglor needs a strong companion, one who will walk with him so if he faces any danger, he will know for certain that someone has his back. I would be nothing but a burden._

Before his fall, Daeron had been a minstrel and a loremaster, even created the Cirth, a written language that was also taken by the Dwarves. He had improved his creation after learning about Fëanor’s Tengwar. Thingol had approved Daeron’s runes, but apparently the Elves used only Tengwar now. 

At least Daeron had his voice back, and that was a blessing. He had been silent for too long, both after Lúthien escaped Menegroth, and then during his recent captivity. He would sing with Maglor at night, softly so as to not disturb the Shapeshifters who came to visit Biarne. They liked songs, but they were not fond of strangers.

Maglor came and sat beside him. “I was wondering where you were. It is too early for a sleepyhead like you.”

Daeron smiled. “Sleep is good, and our… the room Biarne has given us is warm and sometimes… it feels like home.”

Maglor looked at him for a moment, and then nodded, eyes sad. Daeron wished he dared to ask, but he felt shy all of a sudden. He placed a hand on Maglor’s shoulder tentatively, and Maglor drew him close. He was trembling.

“I’m fine,” Maglor whispered as Daeron held him. “Sometimes my ghosts visit me in my dreams… sometimes I wonder if I’m not a ghost myself…” He moved away. “I should not be telling you these things. I’m sorry.”

Daeron pulled him close again and kissed him. Maglor froze for a moment and then gave into the kiss, holding Daeron so tight that he could barely breathe. Feeling slightly lightheaded, Daeron clung to Maglor, wishing this was real and Maglor really loved him.

Maglor was the first to pull away. “Daeron…”

“I love you, Maglor.”

There was pain in Maglor’s eyes. “I can’t…”

Daeron closed his eyes and nodded. “I understand. Forget I said anything. I wanted to give you comfort, but my feelings are real. I never expected you to feel the same.” He stood and ran away before Maglor could react. He didn’t stop until he was out of Biarne’s lands. The forest went still, and Daeron saw the Orcs before they saw him. He turned around and entered the river, letting his body sink under its dark waters.

He was falling asleep. 

_I hope I never wake up again._


	6. Chapter 6

Biarne had been preparing breakfast when Maglor came into the kitchen, asking for Daeron. Maglor had looked pale and shaken, even after Biarne told him that Daeron was sitting outside. These boys were so broken, each one in their own painful way… Biarne could only do so much to help them. 

Now she was running through the forest in her bear form, looking for Daeron. She had heard Maglor call for him, and run after Daeron. Something was wrong with those boys, but there was no time to dwell on it now. There was danger outside. Biarne’s friends had warned her about Orcs prowling close. Biarne was certain that she could take them by herself, but Daeron was no warrior, and Maglor had left his sword. Hopefully he had taken his knife at least. 

Where could Daeron be? 

The sound of other Shapeshifters running close, and fighting with Orcs gave her pause. She wanted to join them, but what if the Elves were in danger? An Orc suddenly appeared and lunged at Biarne with his scythe, only to find death when she tore his throat open. 

“Biarne!” 

It was Maglor, and he held a bloodied knife in his hand. His clothes were dark with Orc blood, but he seemed to be unharmed. Biarne could see her fellow Shapeshifters look at her from afar. They were leaving now, save for one who was carrying Daeron on his back. It was Dorgeon, Biarne’s brother. She changed back, and together with Maglor they rushed to Dorgeon’s side. Once Maglor had Daeron in his arms, Dorgeon changed back too.

“What happened to him?” Biarne asked.

“He fell into one of the enchanted rivers,” Dorgeon said. “He might have been trying to hide from the Orcs.”

Maglor looked as if he had pushed Daeron into the river himself. “Thank you…”

“Dorgeon. I am Biarne’s brother. The birds told me that your companion was in the river. He would have drowned otherwise.”

Maglor closed his eyes briefly. “It was my fault. He ran away, and he is no warrior…”

“It was no one’s fault. Why don’t you take Daeron back to the house, Maglor? I need to speak with Dorgeon.”

Maglor nodded. “Again, thank you, Dorgeon.”

Once Maglor left, Biarne turned to her brother. “I am sorry, Dorgeon. I should have kept an eye on them both.”

“As you say, it’s no one’s fault. Lovers’ quarrels can be expected, and artists’ emotions run high at times. We were close, and soon the area will be safe again.”

_Lovers’ quarrels… What had happened between them?_

“Stay safe, brother.”

Dorgeon smiled and embraced Biarne. “You too, little sister. Remember that you are not indestructible.”

Biarne smiled and leaned on Dorgeon’s chest for a moment. “Neither are you. Will you come tonight?”

“Tomorrow. We are cleaning the area, and then getting some rest. You rest too, and keep those minstrels in check.”

“I’ll try.”

Biarne watched her brother turn back into his bear form, and she did the same. It would be safer, and faster, and she wanted to make sure that Daeron was all right. She hoped that Maglor told her what happened, but she would not press him. She would have to speak with Daeron once he recovered.


	7. Chapter 7

Maglor rested Daeron on the bed, and got rid of his damp clothes before wrapping his body in thick covers. Daeron’s long hair was wet, so Maglor unbraided it and proceeded to dry it with a towel. It worried him that Daeron was still asleep, or unconscious. Dorgeon had mentioned an enchanted river. Maybe it had been an accident, and not an attempt at taking his life.

Biarne came and checked on Daeron, and then prepared something to eat. 

“I’m not hungry…”

“Eat, Maglor. You need sustenance, and Daeron needs you to be all right. I cannot help you both if you refuse to take care of yourself.”

“Do you believe that he…?”

“I don’t know, but for now eat something, and rest. Daeron will sleep for a while, but he will wake up. Have no fear.”

“Do you want to know why he ran away?”  
“Not yet,” Biarne said, and her eyes were kind. “I need to speak with Daeron first. I want to know what’s in his mind. If you and I speak now we will be speculating about what happened, and that will not be good for either of us. Rest easy, Maglor. I do not blame you for this.”

Maglor let out the breath he was holding. “Thank you.”

Once Biarne was gone, Maglor forced himself to eat, and then leaned back on the chair, trying to rest. He fell asleep, and only woke up when he heard Daeron’s voice.

“Biarne…?”

Maglor moved closer so Daeron could see him. “It is me, Daeron. How do you feel?”

Daeron looked dazed. “Sleepy…”

“You fell into an enchanted river.”

“Ah… So that was why I was so sleepy… I had hoped…”

“You had hoped?”

Daeron blinked. “Maglor?” He looked away. “I saw the Orcs… I was trying to hide from them… That’s all.”

Maglor closed his eyes briefly. “I’m relieved that Biarne’s brother found you before it was too late. You could have drowned.”

When Daeron did not react, or looked at him, Maglor realized what he had meant to do. His blood run cold.

“Daeron, I didn’t mean to---”

“Don’t.” Daeron looked at him. “I shouldn’t have said those words, and I shouldn’t have run away like that. We are friends, and that’s enough.”

Maglor took one of Daeron’s hands in his own. “You are important to me, Daeron. I care for you. I love you.”

“But you are not in love with me, I know.”

_But I am…_

“I cannot fall in love with anyone, Daeron.”

“Why is that?”

Maglor let go of Daeron’s hand. “Because I am tied to the Oath, and if I fall in love with you, I will bring you down with me. I could never do that. I care too much for you.”

“What if I didn’t care about your Oath? Would you allow yourself to fall in love with me then?”

“You don’t know what you are asking for.”

Daeron closed his eyes. “I know what I want, but you don’t feel the same.” When he opened his eyes again, they were brighter than usual. “We will speak of this no more. I love you, and I care for you, but I don’t want to lose your friendship over this.”

“That you will never lose,” Maglor said. 

Daeron smiled, eyes sad. “Good, because you are going to bear with me for a little longer. I will go my way when I am feeling myself again, but I need someone I can trust until then.”

Maglor nodded. “We will leave Biarne’s house together. I need you too, Daeron.”


	8. Chapter 8

They would leave her house soon. Biarne could see that Daeron was stronger, and that Maglor looked calmer, the storm in his eyes slowly quieting to a mere wind. They were always together now, singing or collecting berries, and sometimes they sat outside writing on a scroll. They were minstrels, but Daeron was also a loremaster, and Maglor’s father had been one too, probably the best there was in the Western Lands. The only thing they did not do was hunt in her lands, and that was how things should be.

Biarne had spoken with Daeron, and he had told her that he would travel with Maglor for a while.

_Are you certain you want to do that, child? You can stay here until you are ready to be on your own._

_I am. I love him, Biarne, and though he does not feel the same way about me, I need his strength and company to heal._

Biarne knew that Maglor was in love with Daeron, but she had promised not to speak about it. Unless the son of Fëanor admitted to himself that he indeed loved Daeron, it would be better not to tell him.

_You are strong, Daeron._

_Am I? Please do not think that I am planning to follow him around forever. I know what my place in his heart is. He is in pain too, and weak as I am, I know that I can help him to heal._

Silly boys, broken boys…

Love was much simpler among Biarne’s kind. Less complications, and fewer false promises, only what they felt for each other mattered, and even that could end. Biarne had never loved someone enough to bear a child, but she understood that love seldom lasted forever. Friendship did.

These boys were wasting their time, because no matter how long their lives were, love was a precious thing and should not cause pain. That was why she wanted Daeron to stay with her. Maglor loved him, and cared for him, but he was not ready to act on his feelings.

He would end up hurting Daeron. 

Biarne could not start to imagine what it was to have been born in the Blessed Lands only to come to Ennorath and live in a perpetual war. Maglor had killed and destroyed lives, and he had lost himself in the process. Was Daeron’s love an opportunity for him to heal? 

Whatever the case, Maglor was not good company for Daeron now, but it was not Biarne’s decision. She only wished that Daeron understood that Maglor could not give him what he wanted. Not now, and maybe not ever. 

“We will leave tomorrow, Biarne.”

It was Daeron. Biarne nodded, and gestured for him to sit at the table. She poured two cups of herbal mint tea. Daeron loved it.

“I wish you would wait, but I know it is time for you to open your wings again, child.”

“You do not approve of Maglor. Why is that?”

“Because you love him, and he is not ready to give you what you want.”

Daeron looked sad. He nodded, and then took a drink of his tea. Biarne could see that her words had hurt him, but she knew that the hurt came from knowing that she was right. 

“I know that Maglor will never fall in love with me,” Daeron said after a moment, “but I love him, and I wish to be with him.”

Maglor came out of their bedroom in that moment, his step so light that Daeron didn’t notice. Biarne did. Maglor looked troubled. If he moved now, Daeron would know he was there.

“He might fall in love with you,” Biarne said kindly, “but that time is not now.”

She knew that Maglor was in love with Deron, but she had promised not to tell him. That was why she wanted Daeron to stay. That silly Fëanorian needed to figure out his feelings. The Oath was void, and Daeron loved him.

“I don’t expect him to fall in love with me. I know he is in pain too, and right now we need each other. I will be all right. I promise.”

Biarne stood, the sound she made giving Maglor an opportunity to go back into the bedroom. She kissed Daeron’s forehead. 

“Promise me that you will come back if he ever hurts you. That’s all I ask.”

Daeron closed his eyes, and allowed her to embrace him. “I promise.”


	9. Chapter 9

Daeron was gone. They had traveled together for nearly a century, but after a mild disagreement, Daeron had left on his own. Maglor knew that this would happen sooner or later, and that the reason was not some silly argument about music. Daeron had left because he could no longer endure Maglor’s aloofness. Daeron loved him, and Maglor loved him more than anything in Arda, but he had kept his distance and hurt his lover in the end. His lover, because they had shared whatever comfort their bodies gave them, the intimacy and the warmth that came with it. No word of love was ever pronounced, and Daeron had finally given up. 

_Biarne was right. I ended up hurting him…_

Maglor knew that Daeron had hoped to break his resistance with patience and love. Even if Daeron had never again spoken of the love he felt, Maglor could feel it in his every word, in the way he touched his body… In the way Daeron gave into their lovemaking. 

_I knew, and yet I kept pushing him away and now he is gone, and I want to bring him back but I know I cannot._

Maglor loved Daeron, and because of that he would let him move on and seek for happiness in someone worthy of his love. Maybe one day they would meet again, and Daeron’s eyes would be clear from pain, free of the love he had felt for him. 

“Where do you want to go, Master Elf?” the boatman asked.

“Far north, where nobody walks, Elf or Man.”

“That would be lonely, and dangerous, if you don’t mind me saying it.”

Maglor smiled softly. “I don’t mind because you are right, but that is what I need, the loneliness and the danger. I have always lived like that.”

Not always, his mind supplied, but Maglor pushed those thoughts away. It was time to be alone and try to regain some balance. He had to remember who he was. A son of Fëanor, a kinslayer, one who was doomed to walk alone until Time was over.


	10. Chapter 10

Daeron stood beyond the Greenwood, looking at the Celduin and wondering if he should finish what he started when he was with Maglor at Biarne’s house. This was no enchanted river to fall into; no sleep would come saving him the pain of gasping for air as his lungs filled with water. He would have to do it on purpose, and endure the pain until it was over. 

He sat beside the river and ran his hand through the cool waters. Pain would not be a problem. He had endured worse when he was captured and raped. He had been a slave to those men’s lust until he had managed to escape. Biarne had saved him, and for a while he had stayed with her until he was strong enough to go his way. 

No man had captured him again, at least not that he remembered. Since those men made a slave of him long ago, and maybe even before when Lúthien escaped with Beren, Daeron had been prone to lose his sense of being and wander aimlessly through the land without remembering who he was, and who he had been.

This had stopped when he met Maglor again and fell in love with him, but he could not depend on the other Elf forever. Maglor cared for him, and for a while Daeron had believed that in time that care would turn into something different. Maglor loved him, but he had been unable to fall in love with him, and Daeron had finally realized that Biarne had been right. Maglor’s refusal to let him close was starting to become simply too painful for Daeron to bear.

He looked at the river again, and stood. It was not his time just yet, and he had promised Biarne and Maglor to take care of himself. Apparently this was something you did for yourself, but Daeron could no longer remember how to do it.

Not drowning in the river, and exploring new lands seemed a way to start remembering what kind of Elf he had been before Lúthien left, before he left Maglor…

Daeron sighed, and adjusted his backpack. He had been in the Eastern Lands when he was a slave. Maybe he needed to visit them as a free man in order to heal.


End file.
